Vacation (almost)

Right at this very moment, I could have been already standing at the soil of my sweet home, swinging in a hammock or playing with my nieces and nephews or just doing next to nothing. Anything, rather than sitting here and waiting for some ‘ghost’ project that my boss told me at the last minute to work on. Last October 29, I was scheduled for a flight home bound to Philippines for my vacation leave. Imagine the excitement, let alone the physical and mental preparation.

But all those excitements turned sour when my boss told me he had to cancel it due to a conflict with client’s schedule, which I honestly went cynical about that reasoning, knowing my boss’ reputation. Why did he not tell me beforehand about this concern so that I could have not raised my hopes high and expected so much for this vacation? Why did he tell me just a shy of two days before my flight? If that was indeed a client concern, that should have been known in advance. Not sure if you get it but my point here is that I don’t see his transparency at all here. I can’t take it just like that.

This is absolutely a let-down not only on my part, but also to my family back home who are so excited about my homecoming. My friend, Angie and I (and some of her friends) were planning to go to Bohol on Nov. 11. I am so excited about this for two main reasons, that it would me first time in Bohol and I’m going there with some good company. But until now, I haven’t yet told her this bad news. Maybe because I don’t want her to be/feel disappointed the same way I was/did. Maybe I’ll let her know by this week when I’ve already gathered enough courage.

My job is still important to me now despite my abhorrence to the company and to the people running it. Otherwise, I retaliated. I am helpless. I have a voice which only echoes in silence. I’m just a mere servant of this company. And in a servant's disobedience, the door is always wide open to welcome my exit. Just like a pawn, I am of least important of all players and is dispensable anytime. Or, like a prisoner, always stuck in this kind of situation, waiting for a parole. But just like others whose ‘high-paying job’ is tantamount to the air we breathe, I can allow compromises to my master's favor as long I don’t lose my job, which gives me no right to complain.

Bitter reality, that is.

Be Careful What You Wish For

I'm so busy as a bee this past few weeks. I haven't been really this busy for the longest time now. The last half part of the year was so relaxed that I could afford complaining about boredom.

I had wished for more challenging projects to come. I had wished for something mind-bender. I had wished for something to kill the boredom.

And it all happened true to my wishes. Funny how the universe or some unknown cosmic powers throw you back what you wished for. Funny at how they can be really sooo generous at that. I got what I wished, in fact I got too much of it.

Too much that I do not have time for myself anymore. Too much that I do not have time for anything at all. It stole my precious time. The project that came is indeed mind-challenging. Not only that, i feel that it is some sort of a black hole swallowing down my whole body and spirit. And all i ever wanted is to get out from that hole, to get out from this project.

Now, I regret I ever wished that. I regret i ever complained.

There is one thing that reminds me and made me realized that it is true. Be careful what you wished for cos you just might get it. Aaaggghhh!!!

Life Is A Joke (Sometimes)

I'm now writing this blog at this early hour of July 28th. My birthday! But, some twist of joke must be playing on me now. Why?

1. Just had a meeting with client at this very wee hour of my birthday! What an odd way to start anybody's birthday. I was not expecting in my entire life for this kind of scenario to happen on my birthday. Of all the 365 days in one year, how could this ever happen to this day? Life really has its ways in making joke on me.

2. I work on this project now that really challenges my mind, energy and time. At the end of my everyday, i always find my mind exhausted, batteries drained almost empty and left me no time for anything. No time to cook which i usually do. No time to put on make-up or even lipstick. No time for myself. When i glance in the mirror, i look so haggard. Today is my birthday and I should be blooming, but how can i afford the luxury of time for now to beautify myself? Life really has its ways in making joke on me.

3. I am officially a 'TNT' for exactly 20 days now. Or, i am over-staying in Dubai for exactly 20 days now already. On my 29th birthday, I was a TNT in Dubai. What a statement for birthday! How many people on earth can say that on their birthday? I belong to the few. Life really has its ways in making a joke on me.

4. In connection with #3, I am expected to pay the the cost of my over-staying, since according to Babaita, it was my fault for not informing her ahead of time? Was it entirely my fault? Should she be partly responsible for notifying me, since she is our acting PRO? That woman is a b**** for doing nothing than saving her fat ass. Pardon my french but all i wanted is fairness. Life really has its ways in making a joke on me.

5. Since i am a busy bee for now, i'm afraid i won't have time for any celebration at all. Tonight will be another client meeting and the pressure for this project is pushing us our limits. Our boss misthinks we've genius minds. I deserve to enjoy mah barthdayyy! I hope our plans with officemates to go bowling this Thursday night will pushthrough. Atleast, i can call it a celebration, eventhough it's late, and better than nothing.

Anyway, leaving all these aside, i am happy on my birthday! That's why it's called Happy Birthday because everybody should be happy on his birthday. I'll stick to the rule! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! :))

I love Kinokuniya!

I love Kinokuniya. From romance pocket books to C.S. Lewis to even Manga series, name it, they have it! That's why it's one of my favorite bookstores in Dubai. They have the best and widest variety of books you can ever find.

Where to find: Top Level of Dubai Mall, look for the Information booth and ask for direction. Hehehe! (It's a very huge mall, i, myself get lost here.)

No drinking!

Apparently, liquor is prohibited under the Sharia's law in UAE, with exception of course. In some certain areas like Irish Village, you can forget about the prohibitive law. You can drink like you've never drunk before.

So now, you know where to go!

I love Jason Castro

Presenting you for the first time the man i love! LOL! Those eyes! They melt me away...haaaayyyy!

MELASON Fever

I'm officially now a MELASON fanatic! Call me 'baduy' or cheap or whatever fits me called for getting 'kilig' about their love team, then I must say 'mabuhay' tayo mga baduy, mga MELASON fans! Hahaha!

At the start of the PBB Double Up, I've already wanted to follow the show. Unfortunately, we don't have TFC, or even tv in our room. Until recently, I've learned of an internet site where those who don't have TFC can see episodes on a daily basis. Obviously, this came to my knowledge very late, now that PBB is only one week to the Big Night. I must have missed a LOT of MELASON moments inside the house. I must have a lot of catching up to do.

I'm quite downhearted lately because of some work-related issues (actually 'boss' issues). I was unlucky to have a very inconsiderate, liar and heartless boss (I don't mean to be rude but...) Sad but true. I can whine up like a scandalous bitch here but this page is not intended for that. Don't ask me to expound on this because I'll only end up wasting my time and energy. Now, my mood is disturbed. Anyway...

Thank God there's MELASON. I can forget for a while that bald-headed man! Hahaha!

Last night I slept very late by devoting my time watching MELASON video clips from Youtube. I prepared dinner in the kitchen while watching PBB through my iPhone. I ate dinner at the same time cracked a loud laugh of amusement in between. I cursed when internet is slow. When we had a power short circuit last night, I badmouthed when the router turned off.

In short, I was hooked. I let myself hooked in the first place because watching MELASON is like a stress reliever to me. It's like it leads you to a place full of sheer fun and laughter that you would forget whatever problems that you have. It's like watching them makes you unload your loads of burden.

I love their love team, tandem, friendship, relationship or whatever they have for each other. They certainly give life to PBB house. They certainly give life to the PBB show. Without them, I don't think the show has anything good and funny story to offer. I don't think the show will be likable at all.

I love Melissa (Melay or Isay) because she is so funny, honest, true to herself, effortless. Her humour is not being pushed too hard and it's very authentic, though to some, ridiculous. Certainly, she is Big Brother's favorite. By that I claim her to be the big winner because she deserves to be.

I love also Jason, a Binoe protege. I won't wonder why he's fallen into trap by Melay's charm. Although a little 'kulit', I like him because he likes Melai and looks at Melay beyond her physicality. He doesn't judge beauty by face or looks.

Friendship born inside the house, I can only wish will stay the same outside. Whoever wins and whoever loses, whoever will have a career awaiting after the PBB stint and whoever won't, it is every followers wish that they remain friends. Or, whatever blossoms more than friendship, as Jason wishes to continue his 'panliligaw' after PBB, that certainly won't pass the eyes of those followers, like me. Hahaha!!!

Mabuhay mo Dong Jason ug Day Melay!!!

P.S.

Mabuhay pud ang ubang mga bisaya sa PBB, namely: Papa Tibo, Paul Jake, Mariel, Cathy ug Rica.

Time Fleets

January is over. The next time I check, it's December again. Waaah! Time shoots like a rocket when you want it to walk like a turtle. By that, I mean if there is anything I could do in my power to preserve time, I will do that. There are so many things yet to be done at this point in my life before probably hitting thirties. As in a LOT! I know this is all about midlife crisis.

On the other hand, if I'd want the world to pace slow, everything else will follow the same pace. I get bored and run out of patience most of the time especially when you have set of expectations and high hopes already laid ahead of you, that you will almost think of the saying 'patience is a virtue' is ridiculous, only a cliche. And I would say 'God is very slow in answering my prayers'.

I know I am very sensitive to this because my life right now is in the WAIT. It's been almost two years that I am in the WAIT that I feel tired and exhausted of waiting more that further waiting could already break me down. I feel like giving up. A determined person that I am (or was), I don't easily give up. But now, I am in the brink towards down. I don't have that powerful strength anymore that I used to have.

Hold on or give up? What is it that I really, really want? But in the present situation, which one outweighs the other?

Hold on or not? Give up or not? Why such dilemma?

**********

They say that when you pray, you pray specifically. You talk to God (as a Father, a brother, a master or whatever you're accustomed to) and ask for specific things to give you or to happen in your life. This I do. I specify things because I believe that I should NOT limit what God can do or give. And I am not ashamed of asking Him this or that because I know that He is a God, who listens and have compassion to those who will come up to Him and speak. That is the God I know.

I have two specific prayers among the myriad of others. If God grants me one of those, He can forget the other (or do it later). Or, if God grants me the other one, He can forget the other as well (or do it later). Or, if God grants me both simultaneously, that is already a bonus. I will be the luckiest woman on earth.

Status? Well, none yet is granted as of now. Back to what I said, this is part of the strings of wait-and-see. I know the stress of waiting but that doesn't stop me from believing no matter how God seems very slow in addressing my requests. Maybe, the queue must be very very long and I'm unfortunate to be at end. But just like in a queue, every one has it's turn. You just have to wait.

++++++++++

So January is over. Today is February already. 1 down, 11 to go!

Winter is still in its peak here in Dubai. So, we have to savour every bit of foggy mornings and super cold afternoons before the devilish summer heat strikes back. This year's winter though is not as cold as it was two years back, which is the coldest winter I've experienced so far in Dubai.

Like everything changes, season changes quick. Like how I am reluctant to some life's changes, that's how I am reluctant to welcome summer.

++++++++++

And before this blog ends, I'd like to wish everyone a life full of LOVE this month of Hearts, this month of LOVE.

LOVE is such a universal thing and a universal feeling that it indeed deserves a day in a year to celebrate it.

Love is a beautiful thing and I wish that everyone will always experience its beauty, including me. *Fingers crossed*

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY whoever you are!

Bittersweet

Leaving is always bittersweet. I was the one who left but I almost felt left behind. Yet, I cannot put on a sad face. I have to let it stay behind my thoughts where it hides unnoticed. Cause truth is, life (read: hell) must go on after a brief taste of heavenly comfort back home. A different life awaits in another world afar.

Now I'm back. With soul refreshed from a laid back life and some perspectives changed, I need to have some little re-adjustment to make to get used to again to this way of life. Fast and already becoming dull.

Life back home is the life I wanted. But, life here has full of promise. Can I live in two places at one time?